


Treading Water

by maeofthedead



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Lack of Communication, Tanaka is a good friend and everyone should appreciate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-25
Updated: 2015-08-25
Packaged: 2018-04-17 05:55:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4655064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maeofthedead/pseuds/maeofthedead
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are things Noya doesn't talk about.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Treading Water

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [bell, book, and candle](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3766450) by [skittidyne](https://archiveofourown.org/users/skittidyne/pseuds/skittidyne). 



> Since this little drabble is inspired by the fic above, it cannot be understood outside of that context. If you haven't read her wonderful work already you should definitely give it a try! It's well worth your time.

Noya remembers a lot about the crash in a disjointed and jumbled sort of way ( _loud sounds, pain shooting up and down his body, itchy hospital blankets, sore muscles, monitors beeping_ ) but he doesn’t talk about it. Not really.

He shrugged the first time Suga broached the question with a sort of worried hesitance that he normally only prescribed to Asahi, all furrowed brows and wringing hands. Mother hens, the both of them. Suga holds himself with more confidence than Asahi, is able to hide it better, but Noya’s known him for years. Enough to know what he wants to hear. So he provides it.

“Nah, I remember bright lights and shattering, you know,” He makes the appropriate sound effect to go along with it while throwing his hands out in an exaggerated gesture, nearly losing his phone in the process, and then pulls it back in front of his face to play Angry Birds. Angry Birds, the perfect game for lying. How can a person look like they’re withholding information when swearing at pixelated pigs? Suga winces a bit, but also releases a relieved sort of sigh that lets Noya know he did the right thing.

“Just checking.”

And just like that, the subject is dropped and very rarely picked up again. Over time it becomes old news: thought about, considered, and then discarded.

(And alright, one night he and Tanaka go drinking and when Asahi gets tired of watching them without being able to participate and wanders closer to the live music for a bit, Noya lets it slip that sometimes he thinks the crash messed with his brain somehow. That there are some nights he can’t sleep and instead convinces Asahi that he just wants to marathon stupid shit on Netflix alright? Don’t worry about it.

He makes Tanaka swear up and down that he’ll never tell a single soul (living or dead or inbetween) about this and Tanaka nods, they clink glasses in agreement, and the rest of the night goes on without anymore weird, emotional glitches.

Noya thought he wouldn’t remember the conversation since they’d been well on their way to drunk, but every few weeks after that point, Tanaka will throw an arm around his shoulders, point in the general direction of where he thinks Asahi is (never quite getting it right) and declare that it’s time for an ‘Epic Noya and Tanaka Drinking Night (no wet blankets allowed)’. Tanaka will let him set the pace and it’ll be as quiet or as noisy a night as Noya wants it to be.

Tanaka will let him talk, or not.

He’s a good friend)

Noya’s not stupid, he knows what their situation looks like from the outside. And it definitely looks like he won the lottery while Asahi and Suga got saddled with the ‘shit-sucks-and-then-you die-and-then-you-occasionally-come-back’ consolation prize. Like one of those crappy plastic trophies whose handles break off or that sad looking, faded ribbon that no one wants.

Asahi is able to detect his lies a little easier, if only due to increased proximity, but he’s also more easily swayed by large grins and a quick slap on the back to remind him that he’s tangible, even if it’s only to a few people.

“You worry too much, Asahi!” Partially because it’s true and partially because it’ll send the ghost into stuttering out a slew of apologies. Maybe it’s cheating in a way, but Noya figures Asahi and Suga have enough to deal with without also being concerned about him. He’s not the priority. He won the grand prize, after all. What else could he want?

(And maybe he has changed after everything. Maybe he’s a little more reckless after cheating death because it feels better than being scared and maybe he can’t ride with people he doesn’t know. Maybe his hands grip seat belts too tightly and his knuckles turn white whenever there’s a sharp turn. But he’ll laugh and joke with whoever is in the car anyway, barely listening to himself in the process with his mouth running on autopilot.)

He can’t bring himself to properly focus on these less than brave parts because there’s something shameful about looking at them directly, about giving these traits his undivided attention. Like he can keep them in his peripheral and everything will be alright.

Because out of the three of them, he came away largely unscathed.

So he’ll make inappropriate jokes about their weird, fucked up, set of circumstances--that Asahi reprimands him for and Suga rolls his eyes at--because someone has to. Someone has to make light of everything because if he doesn’t...then they’ll all sink together. And Noya is determined to keep them afloat for as long as possible, even if he’s only treading water.


End file.
